Pure Love

In marriage, there are so many things that are important in creating a strong and lasting love. Sexual intimacy is one of the beautiful things that can help create that. It is a beautiful part of life that has been given to us by God, and because He has given it to us, we need to use it in a way that is pleasing unto Him. It is a gift that if used properly can help us to obtain real joy. The “For the Strength of Youth”, a pamphlet published by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, states, “Physical intimacy…is ordained of God for the creation of children and the expression of love between husband and wife.”

In a talk by Elder Jeffery R. Holland titled “Souls, Symbols, and Sacraments”, he addresses physical intimacy. He speaks about how when a man and a woman are married, they become one. They merge their lives together. He says they unify “their very hearts and minds, all their days and all their dreams.” He continues to say that physical intimacy is a symbol of that union. It can truly bond a married couple.

In his talk, Elder Holland talks about the danger of physical intimacy outside of marriage. He states that when someone becomes physically intimate with another person without being bonded to them by marriage, they are giving something “which cannot be followed with the gift of your whole heart and your whole life and your whole self.” He continues to say that when you give part of yourself without giving your whole self- through love, commitment, and marriage- you “run the terrible risk of such spiritual, psychic damage that you may undermine both your physical intimacy and your wholehearted devotion to a truer, later love.”

Intimacy is sacred, and when used properly -between husband and wife- it can be something of true beauty.  The proper use of physical intimacy can strengthen the relationship between an individual and their spouse.

The purest love is not selfish; it is selfless. In my life, I have seen how putting others before myself and thinking of them and their needs has increased my love for them. A perfect example of this is the love that parents have for their children. Parental love is so strong because it is selfless. Especially when children are young and dependent upon their parents, parents have to set aside their needs and wants to care for and love their children. Their love is so strong because it is built off of selfless love and service.

This applies to marriage as well. Love for a spouse can be strengthened as the other spouse takes time for them and serves them. This is true for intimacy too. Intimacy should not be selfish. It shouldn’t be something that is used to satisfy lustful desires. Brother Kim B. Clark once said something along the lines of “physical intimacy must be established in love and kindness, in patience and unselfishness.”

I have said before that if we want something to be extraordinary, we have to treat it so. We can’t expect something incredible and beautiful if we do not put forth the effort to gain that. A marriage can be beautiful, lasting, and satisfying, but a husband and wife must put forth the effort to have that.