Marriage

Happy Saturday!

Since we talked about dating last week, it seems like a great time to talk about marriage.

Marriage is a big deal! Choosing to marry someone typically means that those two people are committing to each other for life. That is a big decision, so we should be prepared to make it.

Marriage is wonderful (I can’t actually say that from experience because I have never been married, but that’s what a lot of people say) and it can enhance your life. Marriage is also hard. There are new adjustments that a couple has to make when they get married. Some of these include the merging of two families, sharing a bed, being with each other more (which means pet peeves can arise), merging lifestyles, deciding who is “in charge” of what (who makes dinner, who handles finances, etc), and much more! If a couple is not prepared for these challenges, it could make things very difficult.

My advice is to take the time to plan in advance. Decide important things before you get married so that the transition is much smoother. Talk about your hopes for your family. Talk about money. Make sure you are on the same page.

Another tip: The patterns that you make before marriage will most likely continue after marriage. So PRACTICE GOOD HABITS. Learn to work together. Planning your wedding together is a great way to practice.  A lot of decisions have to be made, so it gives you an opportunity to make decisions together. Another habit to create BEFORE marriage is communication. I think that a couples ability to communicate with each other can really affect their marriage. Learning to talk through your problems while dating will make it easier to talk through them when you are married.

Another piece of advice I have is to turn to your spouse. If you are sad, go to them. If you need help working through a problem, go to them. Use opportunities to strengthen your relationship with your spouse.

Life should be a beautiful experience, and I really believe that if we put in the effort, every stage in life can be beautiful. I think that this happens when we choose to be intentional. Marriages don’t work unless you do. You have to put in the effort to make it work. The fireworks are usually there at the beginning of a marriage, but they can fade. This does not mean that your love will fade, but it can if you don't put in the effort. Marriage takes work. My mom has taught me the importance of serving your spouse. When we take time to love and serve others our love for them will increase.  

Lastly, if you want an extraordinary marriage, you have practice extraordinary behavior. You can’t just follow what is natural and normal. I talked to my mom about the things that she and my dad have done to keep their marriage strong. What she told me was to focus on the good. It can be easy to fall into the habit of focusing on things that bother you. Don’t do that. Focus on their strengths. Look to see the good. She also said to take the time to enjoy each other. Life can get stressful and it can be easy to just go through the motions. Take time to laugh together. Go on dates. Tell each other about your day. Enjoy each other.

I once heard someone say that if you have something special you take care of it. You don’t treat like you do with other things. This is how it should be with marriage.

Thanks for reading!

Madz