Dating

Hello!

Today I would like to talk about the importance of dating!

Dating gives us an opportunity to get to know a lot of different people. If we go on dates with a lot of different people, we are going to be able to find qualities in others (and maybe ourselves too) that we do or don’t want in our marriages. Dating also provides us with opportunities to develop valuable skills. Elder Dallin H. Oaks once said that a date is “planned ahead, paid for, and paired off”. This means that there is a plan of what you are going to do on the date, someone is providing the resources necessary to carry out the date, and that it is clear who you are with on that date.

Why are these things important? When you have a plan, it shows that you care. Learning how to plan is very beneficial because planning is a helpful skill in life and specifically in marriage. Providing the resources for the date is an opportunity to prepare for when you have a family of your own. Being paired off allows you to give your time to the person you are with. On a date, you (should be) are committed to that person even if it is only for an hour and a half. They should have your attention. You are there to be with them, so be present. This can prepare you to be committed to your future spouse.

Something that was brought to my attention this week is that dating is a wonderful opportunity for men and women to practice the roles that they will have in their family. The two I specifically want to talk about are men’s primary responsibility to protect and women’s primary responsibility to nurture. My first thought when I heard this was that men should protect women physically. If anything were to go wrong, they should be there to protect them. This is true, but I learned that dating also provides an opportunity for men and women to learn how to protect and nurture a relationship. Protecting a relationship from harmful things is so important. This makes me think of the saying “be where you are supposed to be when you are supposed to be there”. As we learn how to protect our relationships from harmful habits, places, or people we will be prepared to protect our future relationships.  

We have lost a lot of this because of the changing culture. In our culture today, people usually meet by “hanging out”. Even after meeting, it isn’t very common for them to go on dates. When hanging out, there often isn’t a plan. Usually, everyone pays for themselves, and it is not clear who is with who. When we choose to just “hang out” and not go on dates, we lose valuable opportunities to practice and prepare for marriage. 

I think a big part of how and why we have lost this is because people do not know how to talk to each other. We are so glued to our phones and other forms of technology that we are losing our ability to connect with one another on a real level. We turn our phones instead of turning to other people. We are social creatures! We need human interaction!

We have a hard time connecting with people because the connection that we are used to is fake! You know when you watch a youtuber and you feel like they are your friend? Well, the reality is that if you were to meet them in person, they would probably have no idea who you are. That connection is fake. We need real connections!

So, I challenge you to your phone down and go socialize! Get to know people! Get to know yourself! Be real! Take time to practice for your future so it can be successful!

-Madz

P.S. I am not very good at doing these things (going on dates, socializing, etc.) and I am realizing how doing that is not good for me… So, I am going to make an effort to be better too!